Do you enjoy being treated with condescension, disrespect, and disinterest? Do you enjoy your pain and discomfort being treated as an inconvenience or flat out ignored? Are you are looking for treatment... more that barely sets the bar at adequate? Do you look to be treated with either passive apathy or outright hostility? Do you consider the idea of being provided a pillow a luxury? Do you crave chaos, poor communication and lack of follow through? Do you thrive on cursory, clipped explanations and roll your eyes when provided with detailed instructions on how to prevent death? Does the prospect of being threatened with a call to security because you have exceeded the pre-determined length of stay or degree of medical problem make you all warm and fuzzy inside? How about being given the distinct impression that your ailments are not the medical establishment's problem? Or maybe you just seek to experience third world quality of care in a first world environment?
If you said yes to any of the questions above, then cdh's emergency room is just the place for you! The staff will go out of their way to treat you with as little warmth and care as possible. You'll be provided with the opportunity to wait for hours in uncomfortable, institutional seating while no one troubles you with little things like updates on when you might be next, inquiries as to why you're sobbing in pain, or offers of receptacles in which to vomit. But of course...if you wish to get the deluxe experience of being put in your place and reminded how unimportant you really are, you can ask for such things. Rest assured, you will not be disappointed, the staff is sure to convey that your tiny little health problems and puny little requests mean nothing when they are so Busy with All The Important Things that your tiny little brain cannot possibly comprehend.
Of course that's just the warm up to the highlight of your visit: Treatment. You, yes you, will experience first hand the medical staff treating you without the slightest bit of interest or concern! You will enjoy deluxe room accommodations while you wait in cold silence as someone gets around to talking to you. Expect your medical staff to give you perfunctory care as they whittle down their interactions with you to the bare minimum. And if you wish, you can even go so far as to make a special request for a blanket or a pillow and watch the staff pretend to care as they return an hour later empty handed. As an added bonus, if you come in with multiple, yet related medical issues, you can be sure that only the most straight forward one will be addressed while you will be encouraged to deal with the rest on your own. Fear not, they are sure to make you feel horrible about yourself for even mentioning that you're still in pain and they'll be sure to let you know how crazy you are to think they care.
And to top it off, they'll be sure to give you discharge papers that are only the basic of instructions printed off the internet. If you have questions, they'll be sure to act as if they did not hear you, tell you that you cannot waste any more of their valuable time and smile sweetly at you as they park you in the waiting room and ask you if you want to call a cab.
Patients with medical problems can be SUCH inconveniences when you work in the ER.
Rate of readmission after discharge from hospital (hospital-wide)
Rate - 15.0% (1% below the national rate)
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